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A Fat Chick Trying to Find HerselfJanuary 26 Rebuilding Your Life is HardDay 59
I’ve been a Maryland resident for 59 days and it feels like I just got here yesterday. I also feel like I haven’t accomplished anything. Yes, I am living with my cousin and her family, which makes me very happy. Living with them has been a new experience and keeps me busy. But I feel like I should be living by myself. I feel like I should be on my own. However, I just got my first paycheck from my new job at the boys’ school and it’s almost gone already. It’s not because I’m spending my money carelessly, it’s because the pay is so little. I don’t know how I expect to get out on my own with such a meager paycheck.
Oh! That’s right! I am supposed to become a bartender so that I can bring in more money. When did I decide this was a good idea? I haven’t finished my online schooling for it yet and quite frankly I’ve dropped the ball with it. I hate admitting that. It just feels like one thing after another comes up and I’m just not making time to finish it. I finished the course on Liquor Knowledge but haven’t taken the Final Exam because I’m afraid I won’t pass it.
I really like my new job though. The kids are a good group with the exception of two who are trouble makers. I really like two of the teachers who are in the room adjacent to mine and hope to become friends with them.
Mary had some test done to find out if the baby is ok and found out that the baby is not ok. That the baby has Turners disease and that right now she is at a high risk of miscarrying. That has been very trying on my emotions along with my Pappy who has been in the hospital for two weeks sick and near death a few times.
I feel like my emotions are all over the place and like I’ve accomplished nothing since I’ve gotten here. I’m just confused and wish I felt like I was making progress.
I know, I know… I’m always bitching about something.
As the saying goes, I’m not happy unless I’m bitching.
~ FC January 17 URGENT PRAYER REQUESTHello Everyone,
I want to keep this short because it’s already lengthy. This prayer request is for my cousin and her husband who have taken me into their home to start my new adventure in life. They are very special people!! If you could please read below and take a moment to pray for them, it would be greatly appreciated. I will be praying every day and sometimes several times a day. Thank you!!!!
~ FC
From Christy
“I’m writing to beg for your prayers. A dear friend of mine has received news that it is very unlikely (albeit still POSSIBLE) that the baby she is carrying will survive. This family needs our prayers. I am vowing to pray this baby healthy. PLEASE, PLEASE JOIN ME!! Some times with all the children here I have a hard time focusing enough to pray so I’ve written out a prayer that I’m going to tape to my refrigerator. It’s here (below) if you would like to join me. I’ve also attached a copy that will work for printing. Thank you guys for your love and support. If you can do this with me I am eternally grateful. Let’s help this baby get here!!!! Let’s be a part of what I am praying will be an awesome God story!!!”
Lord, You are Mighty and Powerful. You are the King of Kings.
Today I come before you with a humbled heart and pray for your healing and mercy for baby. Lord as you know your daughter and her family needs you. Please Lord today I pray that you heal this child and allow Baby to be born as healthy as can be so that Baby can live out a joyful life with loving parents and can be a part of the adventure that you have prepared for this baby. Lord please make Baby’s heart strong, and help it to grow so that it can sustain the baby and allow the baby to see this amazing world that you have given to us.
Lord, I know that Baby’s life is in your hands and that you can do all things. I know that you answer the prayers of the faithful when they aren’t contrary to your will and I’m praying now for health and strength for this child and Baby’s parents. Lord you are in control and whatever you chose we know that Baby will be in a place where the baby is loved. Lord if you must take Baby to be with you please comfort Will and Mary and help them to somehow know that all things happen according to your will and are ultimately for good. Lord please be with them every moment.
Lord I beg you to breathe life and strength into this baby. Bring your healing down to Baby. Give Baby a heart that grows and beats strongly! Give Baby a body that is capable of dealing with illness and infection. Lord please give Baby life and help me to live mine for you. Lord I pray for Will, Mary, Nick, and Mike. Please be with them each and every day and help them to know that they are loved by You and by me.
Lord I pray this is Jesus’ healing and precious name, AMEN!
Love & God’s Blessings To You! Christy
A Reply To Christy’s Email From A Friend:
“Lord, I add my prayer to Christy’s. You said you formed us when we were in the secret place before we ever came to be. Please put this baby in the palm of Your hand and cradle Baby there. Breathe your breath into this baby right now as we join our prayers together for this baby. Please allow this child to live so another voice can be added to the chorus of those who sing praises to Your name. Form Long whole and strong. Confound the Dr.’s. Let this be a moment in time they remember and know there is no medical explanation for. It could only be orchestrated by the author of life itself.
Comfort Will and Mary and give them eyes of faith to know they can trust their Heavenly Father with their child. May this be a time of great spiritual growth as they learn to wait on the Lord and see that He is good. As parents we all want to protect our children… sometimes even from you. But we know we can’t. We know your plan is right. We acknowledge your sovereignty in all things but our hearts still cry out for this child who has yet to be born. We know all in heaven is perfect, but our arms ache to hold our children. Please have mercy on our humanity and our inability to sometimes see beyond our pain – as we come together with parents’ heart and ask you to restore this child to the baby’s parents so they can train up and teach Baby to love and honor You. We leave this all in Your hands knowing it’s the only place we can put the things we count most dear in this world. We look forward to praising You together as we see Your mighty work of restoration in their lives. Hear the cry of our hearts for the sake of this unborn child we pray in Christ’s name, Amen.”
Keep me updated Christy. I won’t stop praying until you tell me to. *Friend* January 05 So Much Has HappenedSince moving to Maryland, I've started a new job, quit that job, and am about to start another new job next week. The last school I was at the teachers were emotionally abusive to the children and some times physically so. It was very horrible so I had to get out of there.
The new school I'll be teaching the three year olds. This place seems a lot better than the last school I was at.
I'm also signing up for free karate classes in the month of January. Am I nervous? Yes! I have to break a board at the end of my first session!!! My cousin, Mary, insists that it's really easy but that hasn't helped to ease my worries. We'll see how it goes though. I don't think I'll have enough money to continue the classes after the free month is over. Only time can tell though.
I've been pushing through a lot of personal boundaries since I've gotten here. These karate classes are just one example of me doing that.
I'm still fighting the battle of the bulge but am hoping to get into a new exercise routine soon plus with the karate classes I should start to tone up.
Some days I feel lonely and like I'm burdening my cousin and her family. Then other days I feel crowded and wish I had my own place to stay. I like the "in between" days the most. The two boys keep me smiling and laughing which I definitely need. I don't know how much I'll be blogging. All of these new changes are quite overwhelming and livng in a household with two young boys has kept me busy.
I hope 2010 is awesome compared to 2009.
~ FC November 30 First day on the jobI'm sad to say that my first day on the job didn't go quite as well as I had hoped it would. I was so excited about my first day too. The problem is there is no structure to the class and the a lot of the kids just don't listen. I feel like a glorified babysitter. We have some sort of schedule that we follow but really there is not a whole lot of learning going on.
Mary has a Master's in early childhood so I came home after work today to get some insight from her. She confirmed my worries about the way things are going and has encouraged me to observe this week and talk to the Director next week. I just feel bad for the kids. I'm hoping that I was sent to them for a reason and not to just turn my back on them and go in a different direction. We'll see though, only time will tell.
I'll let you know if tomorrow is a better day or not.
~ FC November 29 Quick UpdateAs I'm sure you all can imagine, I've been crazy trying to get everything taken care of. Unfortunately, I'm now sick. I can't believe I start my new job tomorrow and I'm not feeling well.
I am happy to report that I am already moved to Maryland and am typing this from my new bedroom. I'm very excited!! Mary and her family have been great! Unfortunately, I've been in bed most of the weekend trying to get better for the work week.
I will try to update again as soon as possible.
~ FC November 11 I GOT THE JOB!!!I am SOOOOOOOOO EXCITED!!!! I got the job. I'm giving my two weeks' notice tomorrow and my start date is Nov. 30th!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!
~ FC Butterflies in my stomachOk, I wasn’t going to put a post up before I found out whether or not I have this job, but I just can’t take it anymore and need to get this all off my chest.
The interview went great yesterday! I mean it was fabulous! It went so well that the Director’s daughter (who is a toddler) hugged me three times in front of her mother. Do I think that is a good sign? Yes! Especially when the Director said, “She’s never like that.” I would like to think that she handpicked me for this position!
The center that I would be working at is awesome! I just want this job SO badly. The pay is crap but my cousin and her husband don’t mind they want me to get my foot in the door and started. Also, I’ll be able to bartend on the weekends once I’ve finished my online schooling. I hope so much that I get this job.
The Director told me that she would be calling me today and of course I’m on pins and needles waiting for this call. I want her to call me and tell me that I have the job. I want to allow myself to think of the future and possibilities that will come with this opportunity. But with all of the thoughts that are swimming in my mind about if I get this job are driving me crazy. I want to know and therefore be able to start planning for certain.
I have no idea what time she’ll be calling. Everyone around me is convinced that I’m getting this job and let’s just say that it will be a huge disappointment to me if I find out that I’m not getting it. The interview just went so well I can’t imagine not getting it but at the same time I wonder if someone was better than me and she will decide not to hire me. It’s so nerve wracking!!!!
I don’t know how I’ll make it through this day. The time is torturing me. I can’t believe its only 9:00am. It feels like I’ve been here for 8 hours already not 1 and half hours. Please let the Director call me and tell me I have this job, please let me be giving my two weeks’ notice on Monday, please let me be going to Maryland as a new resident!!!! I’m dying over here!
Prayers, crossed fingers and toes, and well wishes would be greatly appreciated.
~ FC |
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