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25 november “Here I am, once again, I’m torn into pieces…”I have that song stuck in my head and I guess it’s appropriate to my feelings right now. Tomorrow morning I head out to Arizona to be with my Pappy. I’m nervous about flying down there by myself, even though I’ve done it before. I’m sad that I won’t be enjoying the five-day vacation with My Prince. I’m sad that I won’t be joining in on my first Thanksgiving in my new house. I’m worried out of my mind that something bad will happen to my Pappy while I’m there. I’m happy that I’m spending a Thanksgiving with my Pappy again it’s been YEARS! I’m sad that I’m doing this to say, “good-bye” to my Pappy. I’m happy that I will be spending time with my cousin Heather who will also be down visiting my Pappy with me. I’m happy that I will be in the warm state of Arizona instead of here in the freezing cold Pennsylvania. I’m happy that I get to take a break from my normal, every day life.
Last night I stayed up later than I should have cleaning our house so that it looks nice for our Thanksgiving guests. Tonight I will continue cleaning and will prepare a few dishes so that My Prince just has to put them in the oven to cook. I’m also hoping to spend a little time with My Prince before I leave. It’s been years since My Prince and I have celebrated any holiday separately.
I’m also trying to be healthier. My Prince is also joining me in this effort, which makes it easier for me with his help. But right now I’m filling in for the receptionist at work and there is a bowl of candy sitting right in front of me taunting me. There is chocolate Dove squares and chocolate bull’s eyes too. I love both of those candies! Plus, the office is ordering us pizza for lunch today. I have to do my best to keep it at 2 pieces of pizza. We won’t even talk about the fact that Thanksgiving is “gorge yourself” day. I have no idea what my cousin and I are going to do with Pappy on Thanksgiving but I’m hoping there won’t be as much food.
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! I’ll be leaving tomorrow morning and returning next Monday.
Happy Thanksgiving,
~ FC 21 november This Is Very RealThis is a post linked from http://www.thejuiciestbite.com/
*This is NOT my brother. I'm just trying to help out another blogger. Feel free to post this on your site as well.*
"My brother is missing. He is 5’10” or 5’11” and right about 170 lbs. If by some chance someone has seen him please contact me at rachelcdoyle@gmail.com "
19 november Update - updatedPappy had a ~ FC 18 november Lets TalkPretending to be “ok” is exhausting. Pretending to live life as it was before I found out about my Pappy’s condition feels impossible. I feel like I’m in a balloon watching everything as it goes on around me. I’ve had a headache since Sunday night that just won’t quit. Sleep doesn’t come easy even though I’m exhausted. I fear the phone ringing. Last night after dinner when the phone rang my heart skipped a beat when I saw it was my Mom calling. Turns out she was just giving me an update on Pappy’s condition. He is in the ICU and no decisions are being made until my Aunt Bee (who has power of attorney) talks to a few more doctors. My Mom also told me that my cousin, Heather, has decided to get on a plane to see him the week of Thanksgiving. My other cousin, Nicole, has decided to join her. After being hit over the head with a mallet I remembered I have a plane ticket coupon for $100 off that expires next month and a bit of money Pappy sent me in September left over. I’m going to discuss with My Prince tonight the idea of me going to see my Pappy next week as well. I know he will be sad over the idea of not having me home for our first Thanksgiving in our new house, but I think this matter rules that out. I hope I can make these arrangements as smoothly as possible. I realize this is just one big paragraph and I apologize for that but I don’t have the energy to be grammatically correct right now.
My heart still hurts, ~ FC 17 november Did you hear that?That was the sound of my heart breaking last night.
My Mom called me around seven o’clock to tell me that my Pappy was in the hospital again. They weren’t sure what happened just yet but that things didn’t look good.
About two hours later my Mom called back to tell me that he had a heart attack, that he has a heart aneurysm, and that they found a cancerous cist on his kidney. Then she proceeded to tell me that they would not operate on him because the doctors believe that if they put him out that he wouldn’t wake up.
My Pappy has been on dialysis for about twelve years now and that’s what’s been keeping his kidneys going all those years. This cancer is going to make it harder for his kidneys to continue functioning even with the dialysis.
One of the last things my Mom told me was that they will give him medication but really all they are doing is buying him time. After I hung up with her I started crying my heart out. I yelled for My Prince and proceeded to continue to cry on his shoulder and hugged him with a death grip. The pain of this news is unbearable. I have no idea what is going to happen from here.
Pappy was supposed to come home next Tuesday (not tomorrow the following Tuesday) for Thanksgiving and an 80th birthday party for him. My Mom told me that he now couldn’t make the trip. My Pappy has no family to comfort him or surround him while he is in the hospital. I can only imagine how scared he is. I have no money to fly to Arizona to see him and be with him.
I can’t remember how long I cried last night. This morning I woke up with a pounding headache, puffy eyes, and am exhausted.
Now I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
My heart hurts.
~ FC 13 november GymnasticsWhen I was but a small child I loved the sport known as Gymnastics. Plus, I was a natural at it! It helped that I was short, flexible, and willing to try anything.
My first gymnastics instructor’s name was “Johnny”. I loved him with my full heart and soul. He was old enough to be my grandfather. He always wore a knit cap on his head, a black long sleeved shirt, and dark colored pants. He was the nicest person I ever met in my young life. He helped me figure out the secrets to making my body move the way it should to perform those complicated tricks.
He taught me how to use the high bars. I was so excited to learn how to flip over them and fling myself from one to the other. I hurt my wrists the first few times but once I caught on I had a blast! Johnny also taught me a few tricks on the balance beam, horse, and how to do floor routines.
My hero was Mary Lou Retton. Any time I would be playing on my swing set I’d be Mary Lou Retton. I’ll never forget when she hurt her ankle in the Olympics and still performed flawlessly. She meant everything to me.
My best move was the cartwheel. I wonder if I can still do a cartwheel. I must admit that I’m kind of chicken to try. I’ll never admit to the fact that I loved the movie Stick It! “It’s not called gym-nice-tics” (love this line!) I’ll also never admit that I’m dying to get the DVD either. What?!
I stayed in gymnastics for about 10 years. The reason I quit was because of a mean and nasty girl who used to pick on me relentlessly. I hate that my parents didn’t do more to stick up for me. If it weren’t for that girl I would have stuck with it and goodness only knows what kind of a life I’d be living right now. I wish I could go back in time and stick up for my young past me.
In hindsight I believe that girl was jealous of me. I was one of the best in the class and she wasn’t. She was bigger than me (in more way s than one). Now I’m too old and out of shape to even attempt to get back into it. My heart aches for it though. Those are memories I’ll always hold near and dear to my heart.
~ FC 12 november Oh Wait! That was my stop!I was completely exhausted yesterday after work. I blame it on the dream and the emotional drain it had on me, but My Prince insists it was the lateness of the hour of when I went to bed *shrugs* go figure.
I walked out of my office building and to my bus stop like I do every other day. I was happy that I caught the bus because it had the wrong route information on the front of it. I just so happened to be standing right at the door when the bus driver yelled out the correct route number. I got on the bus and we headed towards home.
I was elated that I had a seat to myself for the entire ride home. So, I put my MP3 player on which had my audio book on it and began to relax. I drifted in and out of sleep the whole trip home, which isn’t out of the ordinary for me. The last time I opened my eyes we were a good 10 minutes from my stop. So, the smart person that I am, I closed my eyes again.
The next thing I remember is hearing someone yell, “HELLO?!” My eyes shot open and I looked around to discover I was the only person left on the bus. My next discovery was that I had no idea where we were. The bus driver then informed me that she was at the end of the route and I had to get off.
I stepped off of the bus and into darkness without having a clue as to where I was. I immediately began to panic. If I didn’t know where I was there was no way My Prince could find me. I’m more familiar with the area than he is. The worst part is I didn’t even know which direction to start walking in.
So, I pulled out my trusty cell phone and called my Mom praying that she would know where I was. Luckily I gave her the name of the intersection I was at and she knew where I was. It turns out I was about five minutes by car from my bus stop. It wouldn’t have been a big deal to just walk home, but it was a big deal when I had no idea which way to go.
Lesson learned.
~ FC P.S. My Prince found a tick on his back yesterday!! <insert girly scream here> Yeah, I'm still creeped out by it. 11 november “Life is never easy for those who dream”Yesterday I was at my Dad’s house getting ready to go to school. I went up to my old bedroom and began looking for a “business professional” outfit that was required for us to wear. I started off with a black skirt that I just barely fit into. I was getting frustrated because I could not find a shirt that matched the skirt and/or would actually fit me. The more I struggled in and out of clothes the more angry I got at myself for gaining so much weight.
I had finally decided on the black skirt and a pink blouse that was sewed into a black blazer. I went into my sister’s old room and asked for her opinion and she immediately shook her head “no” and wrinkled her nose at my selection. I was beyond frustrated at this point and I ripped the blouse/blazer shirt off and stalked back to my room to start again.
After what felt like forever I put on a pair of black trouser pants and a t-shirt and proceeded to go downstairs in hopes of finding something in the laundry room. As I was walking past my Dad he looked at me in disgust and said, “You really got fat!” This enraged me, hurt me, and I stormed off back to my bedroom.
Once back inside I tore through my dresser drawers looking for my “fat girl” jeans and pulled them on. This is when the tears started to stream down my face. I was crying so hard my whole body shook and I was screaming… at myself not my Dad. I felt hideous and couldn’t stop crying.
That’s when I woke up, looked at the clock that read “3:35am”, and wiped the tears that had stained my cheeks.
~ FC 10 november What is that?!Since My Prince has moved out of the Royal Castle and into our humble abode we’ve been having the Royal Dogs over on the weekends. It’s kind of like a “Rent a pet”. We get them Friday night and return them Sunday night. It’s really nice when you don’t have time for full time pets.
Earlier last week My Prince had reported to me that, Chase*, the male dog had developed an odd looking bump on his chest/neck area. My Prince being the worrywart that he is innocently asked me, “You don’t think it’s cancer, do you?” I told him it was probably just a “doggie pimple” and not to fret over it.
Friday night when the Royal Dogs were left with us I got to see this “doggie pimple” first hand and quite honestly that’s exactly what it looked like. It appeared as a fleshy colored bump that was raised out of his fur. Chase didn’t seem to be bothered by it even when My Prince repeatedly poked and prodded at it.
As the weekend went on Chase developed another bump on his ear and My Prince was insisting the one on his chest/neck looked like it was going to fall off. As it turns out, My Prince was right and it did fall off Sunday morning. A small bump was all that was left over from the “pimple”.
Life went on as normal and the Royal Dogs went home Sunday night. As I was walking towards our master bathroom I noticed, what looked like, a small gray bead on the floor. I walked over to it and bent down to get a better look at it. I then proceeded to pick it up and dropped it immediately when I felt it was “squishy” and “bug like”.
Then I got down on my hands and knees to take a better look at it. Just at that point in time My Prince walks in on me and asks what it is that I’m looking at. He then gets down on the floor with me and begins to look at it and poke and prod at it as well. Finally I grab a paper towel so My Prince can scoop it up and we can further inspect it under better light. Just as a joke I make the comment, “Maybe that’s Chase’s pimple.”
Well, as it turns out, that’s exactly what it was. It was not just a “doggie pimple” but rather a tick. I cannot begin to describe the grossness of this discovery. My Prince googled “engorged tick” and the first website we clicked on showed a picture of the exact thing that was sitting on our desk.
This is the picture we found:
Apparently, last weekend My Prince had the Royal Dogs in our back yard and tossed Bissy’s*, the female dog, toy ball, which bounced weird and up onto our forest type hill. Well, My Prince sent Chase up the hill to go retrieve the ball and this is where we’re guessing he acquired the ticks.
I was uncomfortable in my skin the rest of the night. ICK!
~ FC
P.S. My skin is crawling just typing about this!
* Yes, the dogs’ names have been changed to protect my identity. 06 november Some Days I Hate Making Up Titles…So today, I won’t
There have been quite a few “blog worthy” things happening in my life (at least they are mildly entertaining… I think). I’ve felt inspired to write about them all but don’t want to have you gorge on one very long post containing different things so I’m going to try my best to space them out.
Today I have these three strong feelings: 1. I need a hug (or a few) 2. I miss having girlfriends (especially my cousin Heather) 3. I really want to go shopping for new work clothes with a gf. I’m dying to buy some sweaters because I love them and because it’s always FREAKING FREEZING in my office. I also want to bond with a close gf, talk, vent, hug, and do girly things.
I’m ashamed to say that I lost my best girlfriend when I started dating My Prince (that’s a story for another time), my cousin Heather lives in Philly and I do not, all of my female high school “friends” weren’t really friends (which I found out after graduation), and the college I went to I only had one gf because my major is a male dominant field (just to give you an idea I was 1 of 10 girls out of 250 students in my graduating class).
I’m not sure what to do about this. I spend all day at work, get home pretty late, cook or clean, workout, rest for a few minutes, and then go to bed. Plus, now that I just bought a house I don’t have much spare money lying around to go out with.
I can sniff the weekend. Can you?
~ FC 05 november A Race to the…. Voting Polls?Alternate title: Breaking the law to do my Civic Duty
Yep, that was me last night. My Prince and I had the whole thing planned out. We’d go straight home from work, I’d get changed, we’d get in my car, I’d drive out to where we used to live (30 miles away from where we currently live), drop My Prince off at his parents’ house so he can go vote with The Royal Queen, then I’d drive to my voting spot, we all would vote, and then meet at one of our old favorite restaurants for dinner. Sounds simple, right? Well, here’s what happened:
We both came straight home from work, I got changed, we got in my car, we drove out to where we used to live (30 miles away from where we currently live), I dropped My Prince off at his parents’ house so that he could go vote with The Royal Queen, then I drove to my voting spot, I informed the nice ladies that I moved, they informed me that they do not have my voter card, after a few phone calls they then told me that I had to go back home to vote. What?!?!
When I left my old voting place it was 7:20pm and the polls closed at 8:00pm and did I mention that we moved 30 miles away?! I jumped in my car and drove way over the speed limit, went through one red light, and made it to my current voting place at 7:54pm. Yep, I had 6 minutes to spare. I still can’t believe it!
I happily went inside and voted! I was THRILLED that I made it! Oh and there were no lines to wait in AND I was the very.last.person.to.vote.
Needless to say I called My Prince on my way back to our current residence and filled him in. He was already with The Royal Queen and placing his order for dinner. I was bummed that I missed out on dinner with him and at an old favorite hangout but it was worth it to get my vote in.
Beat that! HA! lol
~ FC 04 november Getting Back to the BasicsI know most posts today are about election day mine, however, will not be. I’m a rebel like that. Much to my dismay I did not get to post about Halloween and unfortunately I had a somewhat rotten Halloween. The “Trick or Treating” part was great as always, but the events that happened prior to it were not as good. So that’s the only recap you’re going to get on the subject of Halloween.
Today I discovered an amazing thing. It’s funny that I didn’t think of this idea sooner. But you all know me, I like to do things the hard way first. I’m sure you’ve heard of the website: mypyramid.gov Have you gone to that website? If you haven’t you need to go now. I went to it briefly when I first heard about it but didn’t really have any interest in it. Today I went back and let me just say, “Wow!”
I spent most of the morning playing on that website. They have great tools for those of us who need to lose weight to be healthy and for those of us who need to maintain our weight and be healthy.
First you fill out a profile with your specs: age, weight, height, etc. Then it asks if you want to maintain your weight or if you want to lose weight. Once you’ve specified that information it compiles a food pyramid specifically to you, your body type, and your needs. It is an amazing tool! Plus there is another tool that allows you to track your food and then it shows you a comparison chart of what you’ve eaten and what you need to eat to follow your personalized food pyramid! It also shows you the nutrient break down of the foods you are eating and gives you definitions of those nutrients.
Also, they give you a physical activity tool where you can track your physical activity against what you are eating. A side-by-side comparison to how much “energy” you are taking in to how much “energy” you are using! Why has it taken me this long to find this?!?! I cannot begin to explain how easy they make it to follow a healthy lifestyle regimen. Not to mention that this website is completely free to use!
I remember a cooking class I took my freshman year in high school where they taught us the food pyramid. It all seemed so complicated back then and there wasn’t anything personalized/customized per person. The only thing they showed us was if you were male or female there were two different charts and that was it!
So, starting today I will be following the advice and direction of my own personalized food pyramid! I love this! Please check the website out and let me know what you think!
Also, before anyone suggests it, no one asked me to review this website. This was done completely on my own. But if there is anyone out there who wants to give me goodies for the good review, feel free to contact me J.
~ FC
P.S. Did you vote today?
P.P.S. I just reread this post and am ‘amazed’ by how many times I used the word ‘amazing’. Perhaps it’s just because I’m an ‘amazing’ person. Whatcha think? Hehe! LOL |
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