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30 juli The Good, The Bad, and The In BetweenWhere to start?
I know I haven’t been doing well with my “writing” in all senses of the word. From making sense, to being grammatically correct, to trying to be entertaining, and including (but not ending with) writing in fragments.
I feel so out of touch with the world but more involved than what I was (Make sense? Yeah, not to me either).
The Good: Tomorrow is Friday and I always look forward to the weekends. Also, we’re throwing a very small but enjoyable bachelorette party for my sister on Saturday. Tomorrow is also my Step-Father’s birthday which I’m actually excited about. I’ll be going out and buying his gifts tonight. I only work four days next week because of my sister’s wedding.
The Bad: It looks like my sister is actually getting married next Saturday (not this Saturday). I got my hair cut last Friday and have not been able to style it as nice as my hair dresser did. I’ve also gone from curly to straight. I tried this cut with curly hair and was not happy with it nor am I very thrilled with it being straight. Things with Rogelio have not been resolved. I’ve gained weight and can’t find the desire to do anything about it nor find anyone to help me with it.
The In Between: Tomorrow I am meeting with a lawyer. I hope once this ball starts rolling that it will be over quickly. I’m nervous about meeting him, but excited about it at the same time. I want him to be kind and ‘protect’ me through what needs to be done. I know that sounds foolish. I trust the friend from work who is friends with this lawyer. I believe him when he tells me that he’ll help me. I hope I’m not getting my hopes up only to be disappointed.
I want to get help: therapy, nutritionist/dietitian, trainer, but I don’t know where to look. Any suggestions are welcomed.
I want to find “me” but have no idea how. I know that this person that I’m currently being is not the real me. Where is she?
~ FC 28 juli Grad PartyAs predicted I did have a great time at the graduation party this weekend. It was wonderful to see my family. Heather was in her glory she loves to part y and adores being the center of attention.
The drive through Pennsylvania was pretty cool in of itself. I had never driven that far east, I’ve flown it but never drove it. It was so pretty and the sun was shining.
I did a lot of thinking while I was driving. It took me six hours to get there by car. I haven’t admitted this to anyone else but I hate driving by myself because my mind tends to drudge up bad thoughts and I feel tortured. I have an easier time distracting myself when I’m with other people.
I met my cousin’s new baby, Brandon, and he is simply adorable. I danced with him for an hour and a half straight. He fell asleep in my arms and I didn’t want to let him go. He has the most gorgeous brown eyes I’ve ever seen. He was my “date” for the party. J
I drank way too much and am just finally starting to feel better. But I love being with my cousins and reconnecting with them. I wish I saw them more often. I guess I can make more of an effort.
This Friday is my Step-Father’s birthday. I’m not sure what I’m going to get him. Also, Saturday we’re having a very small and low-key bachelorette party for my sister. She’s getting married in twelve days. I just hope the groom doesn’t get cold feet. Only time will tell I suppose.
~ FC 21 juli Happiness – This WeekendI am SO excited about this weekend! I’m going to Philadelphia to see my cousin Heather and her fiancé Sam. They are having a joint graduation party.
Right now, as it stands, I will be driving up by myself on Saturday morning and returning Sunday. I have a hotel room for the night with a king sized bed!!
I am getting away! I have been bitten by the travel bug and I’m trying to satisfy the craving. I can hardly wait! ~ FC 14 juli 11 Weeks and 2 DaysI took a few vacation days from work. My plan was to use the first two days to go to my “house” and retrieve my things to move to my Mom’s house. Only, I was faced with a very unpleasant surprise.
Rogelio had informed me that my things were no longer in the house but were moved to a storage shed on the other side of town. He also informed me that only his mother had access to it and that I would have to coordinate with her to get my stuff. To say that I was pissed is an understatement.
I took a state constable with me to the storage shed. The time at the shed went fine. No problems. However Rogelio and his mother loaded up their car too to bring some of my things back “to be nice”. When we got done unloading their car the shit hit the fan. I wanted to get the rest of my stuff the next day but it wasn’t convenient for them so I was told, “no”. Then things got out of hand and threats were made (to me not by me). Once again he’s made this whole situation uglier than what it needs to be. Once again he broke another piece of my heart.
So now I’m desperately trying to get a hold of a lawyer, only it’s proving to be more difficult than I had anticipated. I want someone to go on the attack and wrap all of this business up once and for all. I want everything that belongs to me; I want m name off of the house and to be finally free of him and this whole situation. The pain is too much.
Every day is a struggle.
Today I’m tired. I want to go back to bed. However, it’s only 10:30 and I still need to put in five hours of work.
~ FC |
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