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31 augustus Nervous Break Down #2I received confirmation that Rogelio had signed and sent in the “Release of Liability” forms to the mortgage company this weekend. At first it was just a blip on the ‘getting closer to ending this’ list. Then my Mom and Papa started talking to me about my situation and how I should just cut my losses and move on. This put me in a fit of fury and pain. I’ve given Rogelio so much already and they wanted me to give him more. I cried, I screamed, I threw up, and then I went to sleep to escape the emotional pain. I slept for hours and most of Saturday away. My Mom woke me up telling me that she understood that I wanted to sleep but that I would have a hard time sleeping that night if I didn’t wake up. So, I reluctantly got out of bed and acted as if nothing ever happened.
Somewhere in there I had decided that I would give everything up except for a few sentimental items. The original plan was to send another certified letter to Rogelio asking him to return these items to me in exchange for the signed papers that he sent me. But then, this morning I changed my mind. Instead I typed up an email practically begging him to return the few sentimental items. Those items are as follows:
1. My Grammy’s Pittsburgh commemorative plates
2. My Grammy’s dresser that I used growing up as well
3. My childhood Christmas ornaments
4. My Godmother’s china
5. My Pappy’s book shelf (I actually just remembered this and now need to send another email asking for it)
That’s it. There are so many more of my items in his possession and really he’s getting away with more than murder but I don’t care anymore. I just want my sentimental items back.
We’ll see what he says in response. I even told him that I’m working on getting to a notary to sign the papers he sent. I’m not going to try and use them as a bargaining tool any more. I just want these few things back. I don’t think I’m asking for too much. ~ FC 27 augustus Just BreatheOk, after my small nervous breakdown yesterday I feel better today.
Here’s my current situation with Rogelio:
1. He replied to my lawyer’s letter that asked the return of my stuff with a letter making him look like the victim and like he doesn’t have my stuff (not true)
2. He also sent a bunch of papers that would release me from the mortgage and deed of the house
3. He also states in these papers that I will be selling the house to him for a $1.00
Now I’m sure you all can see the problems with this situation. I’ve been tempted to just sign those papers and send them back to him and wipe my hands clean of this mess. However, I have too many childhood heirlooms and tokens from my past that he still has that I just can’t give up for $1.00. It breaks my heart just thinking about it. So, I haven’t signed the papers. I have to wait until next week to talk to my lawyer because this week he is in trial and cannot be disturbed by stupid, broke, poor, little me.
So, last night, after I screamed, cursed, and cried my Mom and Not-So-Evil Step-Father came up with a counter option to Rogelio’s demands that I sign the papers.
I don’t know if this is legal or not, but once I speak with my lawyer next week if he agrees to my terms and tells me it’s legal this is what I hope to do:
1. Rogelio delivers all of my items (which he has a list of and I will resend the list just in case he needs a new copy) to my Mom’s house
2. By the date that I set and the time that I set
3. All items must be in good condition and not damaged or broken in any way
4. Once my items have been returned to me by this date/time/condition, then I will sign the papers as is
Even with these terms Rogelio is getting away with ‘murder’. But I’ll get my possessions back, I’ll get my name off of the house, and I will then finally be able to move on with my life. I hate that I’ll be walking away with just these items, but I could say that “at least” I’m able to walk away with these items. Because right now he denies even having them, however I have two witnesses to the contrary of that statement so that won’t hold up in court if this is where this ends up going.
I’m not 100% happy with this solution but I find peace in this solution. I’m looking forward to the day when all of this is behind me and I can go out with my family and celebrate my break from all that is involved with that chapter of my life.
I’m seriously considering getting my bartender certificate, then quitting my current job, enrolling into school full time, and being a barmaid at night and on weekends to support myself. My parents are in full support of this idea and it sounds like a perfect change that I need in my life. I just need to find out how much it would cost me to get my bartender certificate. Then I can get the ball rolling. But that will have to wait until this mess with Rogelio is over. PLEASE let it be SOON!!!
In the mean time I need to figure out if I can go to Hawaii for two weeks in October with a friend of the family or not. Sounds like a great idea, don’t you think? J
~ FC 26 augustus Mad at the WorldThe sky diving was amazing; really, there are no words to do it justice. I would do it again in a heartbeat and would recommend anyone thinking of doing it to do it. The scariest part is when you have to get out of the plane and jump off of it. After that it’s all surreal! I’m ready to do it again.
I’m afraid I’m on a bad road however (emotionally). It’s so hard to explain but then again I guess it’s not. I’m depressed. I want the whole situation with Rogelio to be over. I want him to give me back my god damn stuff. What kind of a person holds on to your sentimental stuff and childhood memories and then denies having them? A very evil person, that’s who. A person that I can’t believe I even wasted so much of my time with (and yes it was a waste). Had I known ahead of time that this was the kind of person I was dealing with I would have never of gotten involved.
I hate that he’s able to continue to hurt me, I hate that this depression is because of him, and yet he’ll point the finger at me. I hate that my lawyer is an @$$hole and I hate that I don’t have enough money to hire the second lawyer that I need. I hate that my Mom is trying to pull the money together so that I can get second lawyer’s help. I hate that I’m in this situation and I hate that I don’t have any money. If I had a ton of money this would have been all done and over with by now.
“Money Makes The World Go ‘Round” – damn straight…. No one wants to help you unless you have money and lots of it. If you’re the little guy the world says, “ F*** you! Take it up the @$$ like a good little girl and be on your way.” (Sorry for the crudeness but it’s undeniably true)
I’m eating myself to death quite literally. All I do is eat and eat bad things and I’m not exercising and I feel myself getting bigger and just don’t care.
Oh, and to those of you who will tell me “Call a therapist!” I did and he said, “Sorry, can’t help you…. try this person…” No! I’m so sick and tired of the world exclaiming, “We’ll help you!!!” “If we’d only known, we’d of helped (fill in the blank)” Yeah, that’s the biggest load of bullsh** I’ve ever heard. There’s that unspoken rule that, “We’ll help you (if you have a load of money)” “If we’d only known, we’d of helped (fill in the blank) {as long as they had a ton of money}”
I just don’t want to be a part of this anymore. I can make it all go away by signing the papers that completely screw me but it would put an end to all of this.
Maybe I should…..
~ FC 18 augustus Sky DivingI can’t believe I’m about to say this but, I am going sky diving this Friday!!! My cousin’s husband, Will, asked me if I would go with him at my sister’s wedding 2 weekends ago. I told him, “Yes!” Then this past weekend I went to their house for a house warming party and Will asked me again if I would go. We made plans and I leave Thursday night after work and will be jumping on Friday, WOO-HOO!!! I’m pretty scared and nervous about it but not as much as I would have thought I’d be. I think the adrenaline rush will be awesome! Watch out world, here I come!!!!
~ FC
He said: "I was in my early forties, "Live Like You Were Dyin'" By: Tim McGraw 12 augustus The WeddingI spent, what was supposed to be, my 10th anniversary with Rogelio at my sister’s wedding. I thought it would be hard seeing as how this was a day to celebrate the joining of my sister and her guy, however I had a blast!!!
I didn’t think about Rogelio except for once when my ex best friend showed up. We talked and she told me that she missed me, told me that I could do better than Rogelio, and she was happy that I was “back”. I don’t know if that’ll change anything with our future friendship but it was nice to hear nonetheless.
I was Missy’s Maid of Honor. We arrived at the fire hall early and thus had a lot of standing around to do. But once more people started to show up things got more exciting. I had met The Best Man the day before and was eager to see him in his tuxedo. He looked great! To say that I have a crush on The Best Man is an understatement, but he has a lady so I’ll just have to wait. This is fine with me because I don’t think I’m ready to be in a full time relationship just yet. I’m willing to wait. But it’s very exciting to have a crush again with possibilities in the future. I must admit that we made a handsome pair in the wedding party.
Dancing with him was fun and easy, talking with him was comfortable, just when I had run out of things to say he would begin to fill the silence, and he was at awe with the amount of happiness I had to share with everyone. A few of my favorite things that he said to me throughout the day were (in no specific order):
“I don’t remember what to do, can you help me?”
“Are you on speed or just high on life?” Me: “Life” Him: <biggest smile ever>
Him (while we’re dancing): “Are you paying attention to which way we’re turning?” Me: “No, why? Because I’m leading?” <laughter>
Him: “Yes, but if anyone asks I’m leading.” <more laughter> Me: “Of course you are.”
(Just after having our picture taken) Him: “I’m trying to make it that so every picture that I’m in I’m making a funny face.” Me: “Why didn’t you tell me that?! I would’ve been all over that!” (I then tell the photographer to take another picture and we both proceed to make silly faces).<laughter>
(After taking a candid wedding party picture) Me: Thanks for being such a good sport. Him: No problem, thank you!
(After being complimented on dancing our way into the hall after being announced) Him: I just followed her lead. Someone Else: Well the two of you looked great!
Ok, so just about everything he said made me happy. Shut up! J
I danced the night away. I can’t tell you how many different people I danced with. Some I really enjoyed dancing with while others probably not so much but I was a good sport about it. My legs hurt the following two days afterwards from all of the dancing I did. I was so happy and had such a good time. It was great to celebrate with my family and a few new friends.
My sister is finally married and I have a new brother-in-law.
Did I mention that The Best Man is my brother-in-law’s brother? Also, that my sister’s husband has been wanting me to hook up with his brother for the longest time but since I was with Rogelio it never crossed my mind? Yeah, so now that my sister and her husband know that I have a crush on him they are both very excited.
I guess time will tell if anything develops further.
~ FC
P.S. After rereading this post I guess I should have titled it “My Crush” hehe J 05 augustus UpdateLast Friday’s meeting with a lawyer went ok. I was a mess and he answered all of the questions I had. He was a nice guy but I don’t think I’ll need his services much. Right now he’s supposed to be composing a letter to send to Rogelio about getting the rest of my belongings. Hopefully he does that soon.
I contacted the mortgage company and asked them to send me “Release of Liability” forms. So hopefully those will be here before the end of the week. Once I send out those forms then Rogelio has to refinance and I’ll be off of the house. I can hardly wait.
I had a great time at my sister’s bachelorette party. We went to two different bars, danced, sang, and then went home and played a drinking game. I wish I could elaborate on it, but the pictures really tell the story.
I’m sorry dear readers, I am rather depressed today. I wish there was something I could do to take myself out of this “funk” but I don’t think that will happen until this mess with Rogelio is fixed.
I’m trying… ~ FC |
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