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May 13 A QuckieLast Saturday My Prince and I made an offer on this cute little house we found. The process of trying to write up an offer took us four hours to do (yes you read that right). Unfortunately, on Sunday the sellers' made a counter offer and made it clear that it would be their final offer. Well, since their counter offer was pretty much the same amount as they were selling the house for we refused their offer and walked away. So now the quest of trying to find that perfect house is still on. But at least we gained experience on how this process goes.
My beloved Penguins have won their second game in this series Sunday night so now we go to game three! It's SO exciting I can barely stand it!!!
That's it for now.
~ FC May 09 Please help if you can...I've read the Fat Cyclist blog for quite a while now. When I read this I knew I had to do something. Here are the details:
May 05 UpdateI'm happy to report that I sent in my application for that job I'm trying to get this summer. My fingers are crossed and I'm hoping for the best. Also, My Prince and I have been pre-approved for over the amount of money that we need for the house that we are interested in. We will be making an offer on the house either today or tomorrow. Either way I'm rather excited about it. I can't wait to live with My Prince.
This weekend was great! My beloved Penguins won their game yesterday afternoon and will be playing again tomorrow against the Philadelphia Flyers which will definitely be interesting. My Prince and I with my Dad and Step-Mom went over to see the house that we are interested in which means I got to see it again. I like it more every time I see it.
With the beautiful spring weather I've become more active. I've been walking outside a ton and have even been doing some home exercises. I hope to jump on the weight loss wagon again and see what happens.
I'll report more when I know more.
~ FC April 29 Nothing NewThere’s not much going on right now, that’s why I haven’t posted recently. My Prince and I are still thinking of buying that perfect house I had mentioned earlier. Right now we’re in the process of seeing how much the bank will be willing to loan us.
My beloved Penguin Hockey team has made it to game 3 in round 2 so that’s exciting. I went to the afternoon game on Sunday last weekend, which was fantastic! I can’t wait to see what they do tonight!
I received my one piece of information that I was waiting for to send in my application for that job I want this summer. I’ll be contacting them to find out the address and attention that I need to send it to today.
These are some exciting things going on but I’m still waiting.
~ FC April 23 Things Are ChangingYesterday, I voted in the PA primary election. I found that so exciting! PA hasn’t been part of the primary election in a very long time so I was happy to be part of history.
I also had a small hang up in my plan to move in with My Prince this summer after I find out if I’m getting this job that I want. I forgot that even though I moved into my current apartment in July that my landlord had me resign the lease in May the following year so that I could fall into her “leasing period”. So, when I received the lease in the mail last week I was suddenly reminded. Luckily, I made the phone call to my landlord and she is going to let me pay month to month until I figure out when I’m moving out. She just wants a 60-day notice, which I was relieved to hear.
Tonight My Prince and I are taking his parents and my Mom to see the house we saw last weekend that we both liked a lot. Not to mention that it’s located in the area of town that I would have to live in if I got this job this summer. YAY! I just hope things keep falling into place for me. I’m getting rather nervous.
Happy Wednesday, ~ FC April 21 Family Packed WeekendI was looking forward to this weekend and dreading it for the past few months. The dread was due to the fact that I’ve put on a lot of weight due to my depression and there is the whole subject of my depression. But for the most part I had a great weekend with my family.
Friday night I enjoyed a wonderful dinner out with My Prince. We had SO much fun it really lifted my spirits. After dinner we went to Wal-mart to finish up my last minute shopping for this weekend. I had to buy birthday gifts for my great uncle. We were throwing him an 80th birthday party and I had a hard time finding him something appropriate. We ended up getting him a family photo frame, a robe, and slippers.
On Saturday I woke up early with My Prince and grabbed a bite to eat for breakfast. Then I went home to get ready for the party. I was SO excited because not only was my family from out of town coming but my Pappy from Arizona was coming too! It was so good seeing everyone! I had a blast with my cousins that I hadn’t seen in a while. My uncle seemed to have a good time as well.
Then on Sunday my Pappy wanted to do a brunch with the family before heading towards Maryland with my out of town Aunt and Uncle. We got up bright and early and I was thrilled that I was able to sit right next to my Pappy during brunch. I miss him so much! I told him I want to come see him in December. I just hope that I can. He will be turning 80 this December as well.
Then My Prince and I went to a bunch of open houses and found The. Perfect. House! We’ll be making another visit with My Prince’s parents to get their opinions on it. I’m crossing my fingers that we can get it.
That was my weekend. Now I’m back to the daily grind. One of the exciting things going on in town today is that Hillary Clinton will be speaking a few blocks away from my office. I’m going to walk over to hear her on my lunch break.
Tomorrow is the PA primary election day! Don’t forget to vote! ~FC April 15 A few quick thingsMy library is so high tech that I just found out that I can download audio books from the Internet onto my MP3 player. I thought this was great for when I go on my walks, riding my stationary bike, or walking on my treadmill so that the evil neighbor lady doesn’t yell at me for having the tv on at 5:00 in the morning. But I was wondering, does listening to an audio book count as having “read” a book? I will admit, since you all already know how obsessed I am with books, that I felt cheated out of the actual reading aspect of listening to the audio book. But I am definitely hooked on this new discovery. I thought it would be perfect for me since I already had an MP3 player, the iPod Nano. But, unfortunately for me, the audio book format does not work on iPods. I then decided to look at which MP3 players they would work on. The cheapest one was $38.00. So, naturally I decided I didn’t need this cool form of entertainment and that I would just keep it old school and listen to my tunes on my iPod. Only that stupid cheap MP3 player was calling my name. Then once I found out Wal-mart had it for $35.00 that was the end of me. I had to have it! So, now I’m the owner of a SanDisk Sansa Clip MP3 player and love it because it plays my audio books. YAY!
Also, my beloved Penguins have just won game 3 of their first round of NHL playoff games. One more win and they can move on past Ottawa, YAY! I won’t mention that I’m dying to have one of these. I also won’t mention my ongoing obsession with HIM. And just in case you don’t know who HE is by looking at those pictures of HIM, click HERE. But for those of you not willing to click on any of those links, this is who I’m talking about:
Obsessed much? Uh… Yeah!
As far as the whole “crazy FC” saga goes… I’m still crazy. I think the meds are helping but I’m still not back to normal (whatever that may be). I’m trying but am still feeling held back by something. That’s the best I can explain it. But I’m just trying to take things one day at a time.
Last but not least My Prince and I found this amazing house last weekend. Unfortunately this house is on the wrong side of town because it’s on my current side of town and not my “maybe soon to be” side of town if I get this job I want this summer. But it is perfect in every sense of the word. It’s a great size for us, great location, has a wonderful neighborhood, doesn’t need any work done, and the price is in our price range. But I need to wait and see if I’m going to get this job or not first before we can do anything *sigh*.
If I don’t get this job, I think I might just quit my current job and run off to marry him:
Good plan B, don’t you think?
~ FC April 10 Good DayI've been complaining a lot on here so I figured I just had to post today even though I don't have much to say because I'm feeling very happy today. I did do my exercises yesterday just like I said I was going to so I felt better about the brownie (thank you for your comments by the way). Plus, I went out with My Prince to look at a potential house that would have been perfect except for the price tag. My Prince is going to try and get the guy to come down on the price but I'm not going to get my hopes up. Plus, the Penguins won their game last night which was very exciting! The best part is I get to go to their second playoff game tomorrow night! I'm VERY excited about this because I've never been to a hockey playoff game. I'm also trying to get my office manager to let us do a Penguins day tomorrow since the city is doing a "Penguin Jersey" day tomorrow. But we'll see what happens. I also spent the night with My Prince last night (which is always a wonderful thing) and woke up this morning in his arms (another wonderful thing). It's a beautiful day so far outside! I also got my fingerprints done this morning for that job I'm hoping to get this summer. So overall I would say I'm having a pretty fabulous Thursday.
I apologize for the one big paragraph, but I'm in a hurry so this is what you're getting.
Happy Friday Eve!
~ FC April 09 A Brownie For BreakfastTo someone else, a brownie for breakfast would seem like a wonderful idea. But to me it means extra
Now I know what you all are thinking, “Couldn’t you buy something for breakfast?” or “Who cares? Skip breakfast.” Well, one of the things that I have not blogged about is that I’m trying to be healthy (for the one millionth time). My therapist supports the idea and thinks it will help me pull out of this funk, which to a point it has. But moments like this have me crashing back down and feeling awful. Especially when the perfect looking brunette girl with the perfect body comes to talk to me. You know the kind of girl that if I were a man I would be ecstatic to date her? Anyway, I digress; I’m pinching all of my pennies right now and absolutely cannot spend money on things that I didn’t budget for including something as simple as a five-dollar breakfast. So buying something is completely out of the question. Also, skipping breakfast wasn’t an option because I was so incredibly hungry this morning from my almost non-existent dinner portion lastnight I really needed to have breakfast.
Well, one of my co-workers brought in brownies this morning and there was my answer. A brownie for breakfast (just for the record I just typed “breakfat” and had to retype “breakfast”). So that sugary chocolate bit of goodness has me feeling awful this morning. Not to mention the fact that I didn’t workout this morning. That’s something else I’ve been doing, more exercise. I wake up at 4:50am and do a 50-minute workout and then when I get home from work I go on a 30-minute walk. Even before the brownie breakfast I had decided that I would do my 30-minute walk at lunch today and then after work I’d do my 50-minute workout.
The reason why I skipped my workout this morning was because I was overly tired. The alarm went off and I turned it off and immediately fell back asleep. I woke up fifteen minutes later, saw the time, and didn’t even remember the alarm going off or turning it off. I allowed myself to go back to sleep. It’s very rare that I’m so tired that I turn off the alarm without realizing it.
Blah! So, here I am feeling fatter than before I ate the brownie.
That’s enough complaining for today.
~ FC P.S. The Pens are having their first playoff game tonight. LETS GO PENS! April 08 I Love To Read…And because I do love to read I just had to do this once I saw it.
Nearest Book: I Am Legend by: Richard Matheson
Page 123 & 5th Sentence, then Type Sentence 5-8
Here is the Excerpt:
She looked around the room.
“You’ve certainly done a wonderful job,” she said.
“What about your house?” he asked.
“It was nothing like this,” she said. “We didn’t have a—“
“How did you protect your house?” he interupted.
“Oh.---“ She thought a moment. “We had it boarded up, of course. And we used crosses.”
“They don’t always work,” he said quietly, after a moment of looking at her.
March 28 Friday
I’m doing better today. But I apologized to my co-worker who I snapped at and am waiting to speak with the person who caused all of this in the first place. I’m happy it’s Friday and am ready for the weekend. Enjoy the weekend everyone.
March 27 MADI am so angry right now over something that happened at work that I could just scream. I called My Prince and spoke to him about it but my blood is still boiling. I needed another outlet, so here I am. I’m telling the world that I am pissed as hell over something that happened at work today. I could spit fire right now (my Mom says that). My stress, tension, and anger levels just blew through the roof. I spoke rather angrily to a co-worker and am now feeling guilty and ashamed for the way I spoke with her. But most of all I’m angry with the man who caused all of this and for making me feel this way. I know I need to calm down and relax but I just can’t. My neck is sore from the tension in it, my head hurts, and my stomach is filled with butterflies. I was having a pleasant morning until this happened now I’m having an unpleasant afternoon. Things will calm down and I’m sure it’ll be all right but just so the world knows, I’m MAD!
~ FC March 26 I’m OkayI haven’t been posting in a while because I didn’t know what to post about. I still don’t know what to post about but figured I’d just ramble on a bit so you all don’t think I just fell off the earth.
First, I’m glad to report that I am feeling better. I don’t know if it’s just the meds, the walking, or the therapy or perhaps all three combined but I’m feeling better than what I was. Yesterday was a great “mood” day for me. Meaning that I was feeling rather good yesterday and happy. The best part is that it seems to have carried over into today as well. But I’m not going to tell you any of that because I might jinx it, lol.
My Prince and I have been looking for a place to live and well, My Prince thinks he’s found the perfect place for us. I like the place as well I just have my reservations on the whole subject mainly due to the fact that I have a job opportunity coming up this summer and it would involve us moving to another part of the city than where this house is. The job requires me to live in that part of the city, no exceptions. But, I don’t have the job… yet. But we’ll see what happens I suppose.
My sister and her ex-fiancé are still living together and it would seem he is going to move with her at the end of this month. What will happen from there, who knows? All we can do is sit and wait to see what the idiot decides to do.
Also, I just watched the movies: Becoming Jane, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (with Johnny Depp), Eragon, and In Her Shoes. I enjoyed Becoming Jane if you are a Jane Austen fan than this movie is definitely for you. It’s romantic and heart breaking. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was a bit of a let down. Call me old fashioned if you will but I like the older version, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, of this movie better. Johnny Depp was just creepy in it (which I suppose he was supposed to be). Eragon was absolutely fabulous! I do recommend reading the book first (which is what I did), but I thought the movie complimented the story well. In Her Shoes was very close to being like the book and was very enjoyable. Again, I recommend reading the book first though because the movie leaves out some fun things and background information that might confuse you.
Speaking of Eragon I’m reading Eldest which is the sequel to Eragon and of course I’m loving this book! It has quite a bit of action in it from an unexpected source and a lot of drama. It’s amazing that this young author was able to create such an exquisite world full of magic and wonder.
My good mood also may be due to the fact that one of the horrific managers here in my office will be out over the next few weeks. Today is the first day that she is out and the atmosphere in the office is so much lighter than when she is here.
Well, I think that is enough randomness for today. I cannot thank you all enough for your kind words and support.
~ FC March 18 For My Sanity, I WalkOn Sunday night and Monday evening I went for a 30-minute walk. I enjoyed the Monday walk better than Sunday because Sunday night it was freezing. Unfortunately, my leg is still not well. After about the first 10 or 15 minutes it really starts to become painful. I’m going to try and call my doctor today to find out how my x-rays results turned out. I would assume they are ok or I would have heard something by now but I’ll still call nonetheless. It’s raining outside but I’m still intending on taking my walk. I hope the dreariness of the day doesn’t worsen my mood.
I am happy to report though that my medication seems to be helping me. I’ve even stopped using food as much as a crutch for my emotions. That doesn’t mean that I’m eating completely healthy just yet but I am doing better which is quite the accomplishment. This time last week I could care less whether or not I was eating ice cream just to make myself feel better. Now I just am not interested in eating it at all.
Also, the title of this post is my new mantra. I keep trying to think of my walk as a way of medicating my depression. We’ll see how long it lasts.
Thank you again for all of your support.
~ FC March 14 Sister StressMy sister’s fiancé decided to break up with her Wednesday night. She called me yesterday and kept me on the phone for longer than what’s appropriate for work. I can’t say that I’m upset about this development because she was yet another loser on her chain of loser guys. Just file another one away in the Loser Ex-Files. They were planning on getting married in October. Thank goodness this one didn’t make it to the bridal shower like the last one did. But needless to say she is still embarrassed about telling friends and family how she is no longer engaged (again) and how she’s not getting married (again). But this is my sister’s vicious cycle if you go back into my archives I wrote a post all about her.
Don’t get me wrong, I definitely feel bad about my sister but I’m happy that she’s not marrying this idiot. It hurts me to hear my sister experience this pain and I wish I could help her. They are going to continue to live together for another two weeks and then they are both moving out. They were planning on moving out at the end of this month any way.
She needs me and I’m trying to be there for her but…
~ FC
P.S. I did not make my 30-minute walk last night, I spent too much time on the phone. I’m going to ask My Prince to walk with me this weekend though. March 13 FrustratedWell, I met both of my goals last night. I felt good about it for about 2.5 seconds. But hey, I did it. I’m frustrated beyond belief and I realize how mundane what I’m about to tell you may sound but whatever.
After I returned from my walk yesterday I decided to prep my car for its inspection/oil change appointment today. Since I enjoy driving around a nice clean car I have to protect the interior because of the slobs who get in and out of it while they are working on it without a care in the world if their muck gets on my property. Anyway, so I took a bed sheet and towel out to my car and begun protecting my car. I then signed my updated registration card and realized that I needed to get my insurance card from inside my home.
I grabbed a few things from the car that would probably make all of the men at the dealership blush and went back inside my place. I then started searching for my updated auto insurance card. I found the insurance card and stared at it long and hard to make sure the dates were valid. I wanted to make sure this was a valid card to take for my inspection for my car because they won’t do it if it’s not valid. I stared at that card and the dates listed on it for probably a good two full minutes before I was content that the dates were indeed valid and correct so that I could use that card. Before I walked it back out to my car I made myself look at the dates one last time. I felt good about checking and rechecking myself so that there were no mistake or hang-ups once I took my car in this morning.
I dropped it off and came into work. After an hour and a half of them having it my phone rings. The insurance card I left with them is expired and I needed to call the insurance company to have them fax a valid one over to them. In the grand scheme of things this is not a big deal. But the effort that I put into making sure this card was correct only to find out that I can’t even get that right, even with (what I thought was) careful checking, just has me wanting to cry.
I know it doesn’t make sense but this just has me feeling so out of sorts it’s rather (dare I say it?) insane.
~ FC Goal for tonight: Take 30-minute walk March 12 Tonight's Goals
Wish me luck
TrappedSome days, like today, I feel so trapped in life it’s overwhelming. I feel like someone put me in a cardboard box labeled “FC’s Life” and taped it shut. No matter where I go, what I do, or who tries to help me I end up going through a lot of emotions and jumping through hoops of fire only to find myself standing on the same side before I jumped. I’m living a life of Groundhog Day Monday through Friday. The first ten minutes of Joe Versus the Volcano is my life.
I got a lead on a job opening from a brother of a friend. I talked to this stranger on the phone more times than I can count, I typed up more e-mails to him than I can count, and bought and sat through a lunch with this person all in hopes that he could help me get a new job. In the end they didn’t want me. I don’t blame this brother of a friend for that but I’m mad as hell at life for making me do all of those things that I didn’t want to do and come out empty handed. I’ve been struggling to get out of this job position for what feels like forever.
I also feel trapped with my emotions. It’s like I can’t put into words what I’m feeling or what I’m going through. It’s frustrating because I’m paying a doctor to listen to me talk and I’m finding it extremely difficult to say what I need to say. She wants me to go for a 30 minute walk every night, to write in a journal, and try to think of one positive thing when laying down to go to bed for the night (I haven’t been sleeping well).
Since there’s been no one at home after work I’ve been going home and eating my weight in food. I’ve been using food as a crutch of sorts and I can feel the damage that it’s doing to my body but it’s like my common sense switch is just turned off and I don’t care. Before all of this if I’d come home and eat the way that I am I’d feel so guilty and talk myself out of getting so out of control. But that voice seems to have been tied up and gagged by the Depression bad guy.
It’s hard for me to put this information out there… but here it is.
~ Fat Chick March 05 LaughterOn Sunday night I said a word that sent My Prince and I into hysterics. The funny thing is I wouldn’t even know how to spell it. It was a name that I heard off of a television show about an imaginary creature. I have no idea why it popped into my head or why I decided to call My Prince by that name but I’m glad I did. We laughed for a good half an hour over this name and used it in other contexts that just made us laugh harder.
We continued with our new inside joke the next morning over breakfast and again we ended up in hysterics. I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes. Then Monday evening I saw My Prince again and again we continued to giggle over our newfound word. We also watched two old rerun episodes of America’s Funniest Videos and laughed until we were both in pain from laughing so much.
It felt amazing to laugh and to laugh that much. I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. I know for a fact that My Prince hadn’t laughed like that in a long time as well. But it made me feel good all of Sunday night, most of Monday, and even part of the day Tuesday. Some times laughter really is the best medicine.
Unfortunately, today I’m not doing as good. My laughter has definitely stopped and I’m feeling terrible again. It’s rather disappointing that my “laughter high” died away so fast. But here I am feeling bad on the inside again.
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