Fat 的个人资料A Fat Chick Trying to Fi...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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10月8日 Who are you and what have I done with me?My brain feels like a big jumble of incoherent thoughts. From time to time I’ll grasp onto one and concentrate on it with all of my might or force it back into the oblivion with all of my might. Either way, it’s exhausting.
Some days, like yesterday morning, I feel pretty damn good about the decisions I’m making and the goals I’m trying to achieve. Then out of nowhere (see previous post) I’m pulled back into the depths of misery. Not only did Rogelio’s email to me throw me off kilter but my work day in the afternoon just went insane. I called my Mom and whine and complained to her and begged her to let me go and resign.
Now here I am again today feeling pretty bad about life and dreading my meeting with Rogelio. All I can think about is tomorrow. Tomorrow evening I will be on my way to Mary’s house, tomorrow I will be in the bed that seems so much more comfortable than the one at my Mom’s house, I will wake up to two little boys Saturday morning just as excited to see me as I am them and then off to the farm we’ll go. Oh, I guess I haven’t told you about that yet.
I found a farm near by Mary’s house where I will be taking her two boys for the day to enjoy their Pumpkin Festival. I think it’s going to be great fun. While I’m out with the boys Mary and Will will be starting a home improvement project. Then hopefully going out to dinner all by themselves. While me and the two monkeys enjoy a movie and then bed time.
But right now, at 2:30pm on Thursday, all of that seems so far away from my grasp right now. All I see right now is another hurdle in which I have to jump over when I can barely crawl let alone jump over anything.
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