Complicated

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 14:57:44 GMT

Have you ever had a time in your life when you were going through a ‘rough patch’ and did an activity, or went to a certain place, or had certain music playing, etc. and once you’ve made it through that bad period of time in your life you stopped said thing? Then once things returned to normal or you moved past that rough patch you were faced with that activity, place, song, etc. that reminded you of that bad time you tried to avoid it? Ok, let me clue you in on what I’m trying to say.

If you’ve been following along with my blog for a while then you’ll remember the rough patch My Prince and I went through in January through to about March or April of this year. During that period of time My Prince and I started hiking with a group of people on the weekends then we got poison ivy and stopped going.

Well, there are a lot of bad feelings, moments, and people in that hiking group that I associate with that rough patch My Prince and I went through. Not to mention last weekend My Prince and I had a ‘heated discussion’ over something that happened during that rough patch. Now all week I’ve been wanting nothing more than for Friday to come and to be with My Prince that is until he e-mailed me and asked me if I wanted to go hiking with that same group of people two weeks from now.

This made my heart stop, made me feel like crying, and has bummed me out to the point that I no longer feel excited that it’s Friday like I was. I know it’s because of the rough patch My Prince and I went through and that I associate that time period with that hiking group. Is that really fair though? They didn’t have anything to do with it yet in a round about way they did. I just feel like someone has stabbed me in the heart. Obviously I don’t want to go hiking with this group of people.

I just hate the fact that a simple question has brought up all of these bad feelings inside of me. I really don’t want to face that group of people. I don’t want to feel the pressure that I associate with them. The one part of my brain says, “You’ll just have to explain to your Prince how this makes you feel and he’ll understand and not make you do it.” Then the other part of my brain says, “Why don’t you just suck it up and deal with it? That crap is all in the past and you had fun hiking when you did it. Just ignore the people who bother you and make new memories with your Prince and most of all make him happy.”

I hate feeling like this. Tell me if you’ve ever been in this situation and what it was that you did.

Thanks,

~ Fat Chick

Missing You

Thu, 06 Sep 2007 18:39:14 GMT

Usually on my lunch breaks I listen to classical music, while I read, on my ipod. Today I had to take a quick walk over to the bank and would usually select my “Workout” play list. This list has upbeat music on it that makes the walk a little more exciting. But I decided to listen to my country music play list instead. I started scrolling through the songs and stopped first on Miss Me Baby by Chris Cagle. That lasted me until I reached the bank. Seeing I had some time to wait I then scrolled through for Come a Little Closer by Dierks Bentley and listened while I was in line. Just as I was getting off the elevator to my office the song Your Man by Josh Turner started playing which was the song in line after Come a Little Closer. While I was heating up my lunch and Your Man was coming to an end I realized that these songs meshed with my mood today.

Miss Me Baby

Come a Little Closer

Your Man

Who do you think I’m missing?

If I had to guess I would say it’s that handsome and sweet guy who was lucky enough to have this week off of work where as I clearly do not. He is three and a half hours away by car, in the mountains, working on an old cabin roof with his Dad and Grandma for company. He will be back tomorrow in time to join me on our always assumed weekend dates.

Yep… I’m missing My Prince like crazy…

~ Fat Chick

A Fat Chick Trying to Find Herself: Love

Complicated

Missing You